the injustice of it all

A friend's FB status caught my attention the other day. She was asking everyone if it's true that Alexis Tioseco has been murdered.

First, I did not know Alexis Tioseco. Second, there was a hint that a lot of people knew this guy for my friend to make a big announcement like that.

As I have gathered online, Alexis was a well regarded film critic and teacher in Manila. His girlfriend, a Slovenian film journalist, lived with him as well. Both were shot multiple times in their home last September 1st, suspected were burglars who were connected to one of the couple's housemaids.

Some of the reports here and here.

The manner in which they died was horrible. As I read more about Alexis in his own blog, his film criticism website and in the articles he had written, I realized that his passing is a great loss to the Philippines.

From all that I've read about him in the last few days, one thing resonated the most: Alexis had so much passion for film and specially for Philippine cinema. He had so much hope for it that it consumed all of his remaining years.

This letter, which he wrote for the magazine Rogue last year, is a beautiful portrait of Alexis. It explains not only to Nica his girlfriend but also to us Filipinos about his love for local cinema.

I cried as I read the letter. I cried even more when I read his wish list.

We need more people like Alexis and none of the useless and senseless people like Philippine politicians who do nothing but disgusting things to the country.

As I was saddened about a great guy's death, I remembered a recent video of the president's son, Congressman Mikey Arroyo also known as sorry excuse for a human being!
This video felt like an eternity! The question that he could not answer was "Where did you get all of the money and property, you disgusting pig???"



It's the saddest thing that we lose good people like Alexis. It is so sickening that we have to contend with a greedy beast of a politician like Mikey Arroyo.

file under wtf

I had an ultra sound earlier today, as part of our We Want to have a Baby Soon project. My blood work was viewed by the doctor as "normal" although my hormone level could be improved. Nothing appeared to be waving a red flag that's why the next step was to peek into my uterus.

Two surprises from the ultra sound:
1. I have what is called a Fibroid. Nothing to be worried about, ALTHOUGH the question of "why do I pee all the effing time???" and my tireless numero uno complaint "I go crazy for not being able to sleep all the way through the night because I have to go to the bathroom every effing hour!!!" have been answered.
This "harmless" mass of tissue has been resting comfortably near/beside/on top of my bladder. The thing pushes into almost half of my bladder, causing the latter not to fill to capacity but is always fooled into thinking it is. I saw the visual proof.
I have always complained about this to my primary physician. Since my lab tests did not show any cause for alarm and I have had no pain or difficulty urinating, I never got any satisfying answer until now.
The good news is that the fibroid's position is of no consequence to my fertility. It's also good to know that there is only one right now. I pray that it stays like that.

2. The doctor could not find my left ovary. Say what??? The ultra sound probing and poking took a bit longer than I expected. The doctor even had to press his hand on my tummy a couple of times. Nothing.
I started to get scared but then the doctor said it is quite normal for an ovary not to show in the scan. Varying factors affect its visibility, he said. Like it could shift its position; or because their ultra sound probing tool has a fixed lens, its visual reach is somehow limited; some muscle tissue or intestinal organ could be blocking the view.

The doctor did not show any sign of worry that my left ovary was missing today. He said they'll do another scan on my next appointment and then it may reappear.

When I got home, I just had to google and find out if this is a common thing among women. I guess it is. I found some discussions here and here.

While the left ovary is still unaccounted for, what has been said about my right one? We caught a glimpse of it too. Dino was sitting right next to me, holding my hand. Both of us were looking at the small video screen as the doctor checked me. Honestly though, I had a few minutes of wishful thinking inside the examination room.I've had dreams and fantasies of this scenario before, although in them we were looking at a tiny baby.

The reality is, I may or may not have enough eggs. The doctor cannot say for sure at this moment. There will be more tests in the following weeks. They will actually perform a follicle count and it seems inevitable that they will prescribe me some medication too (something to wake up my eggs and invite them out in case they are there and just too lazy to do what they're supposed to.) It all sounds like a deranged easter egg hunt.
When Dino asked him about the possibility of some problems, the doctor confidently answered that there is always a corresponding solution and treatment.

I know that I have no legitimate reason to be worried and depressed about all of this yet...still, I'm feeling weak.

The World is Flat

I love discovering "new" music through friends, on Facebook even! This group is called The Montgolfier Brothers. Allan McGee from the Guardian said they came out with their first album in 2000.

This song is from their 2nd album; it's about breaking up but you don't know that until towards the end.



Journey's End is the video on the Guardian article. It is much slower and I thought it must be the band's signature style: cinematic music plus melancholic vocals.



This music fits my emotional state these days. There's been some bothering news from Manila. They do not involve me personally, none on my family's end too. I'll write another post soon.

the worst

I feel horrible about myself tonight.

I have friends visiting from LA and I met up with them for dinner. Before their plane landed, I took the liberty of choosing the restaurant and making the dinner reservation for 8pm. So when they finally arrived, all we had to do was drive to the place.

After the meal, I helped put left overs in boxes/styro containers. As I was doing this, they convinced me to take most of the food home. I agreed.

Only WAY AFTER I had driven them to Walgreens for supplies, then back to their hotel and when I was already back home here in San Jose that I realized: I DID NOT GIVE MY SHARE OF THE FOOD BILL.

I AM SO DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF RIGHT NOW!!! How could I be that distracted that I didn't pay for my share? It is not me.
I can't think of a reason why I would forget to do such an important thing. It's so weird!

As soon as I realized my mistake, I sent a text message to my friends, thanked them for dinner and told them that I will treat them to lunch tomorrow.


Gosh, how could I be so absent minded? I hate it.
On the drive home, my eyes were so heavy that I was fighting to stay up on the wheel. I realized I didn't get enough sleep last night and I suffered the embarrassing consequence at the dining table.

30th

This may be a new compulsion forming: a blog post every 30th of the month. Well, I hope it doesn't take that long for me to write...I got mounting stuff to purge.

I've been thinking of deleting all of my networking site accounts. I am close to doing it!
Believe it or not, I still have Friendster. Why on earth do I still want to take up space there? The silly reason that I can't kill it yet is because I signed up for it in 2003. It is such an antique.

MySpace can eat dirt for all I care. Wait, let me go there and end its uselessness...
Dang! They ask for too many things before they let you go. I just wanted out and they made me check my email, click on click stuff and was told to wait 48 hours for cancellation to take effect. You suck, MySpace. I'm glad to be done with you!

Next on the guillotine: Multiply. Next next: Twitter? We shall see...

heyyyy

It's been a while.

I'm back here cos I'm suddenly sick of Twitter. I wasn't the most active Tweet-er anyway. Like Facebook, I've gotten tired of it. Until the next popular networking site comes along, I'll be dumping my nonsense here.



So what's up? I've been playing Mom yet again. Poor Boxy, I hardly have time for the fishy. If only my new baby, Lazer, is allowed in the aquarium room, they could be friends. Alas, the kitten is not to play with the fish! Everyone knows how that always end.
It wasn't such a tough decision but I now spend most of my time with the kitty cat.



This girl dominates my life right now. First thing in the morning and before I do anything else, I feed her and let her use the bathroom. It's our morning ritual.

In her first few weeks with us, she would wake me up as early as 3am and would be in a playing mood. I've indulged her many times but realized that if I'd continued, I would never get enough sleep.
Eventually, I learned to ignore her between 3 and 6 in the morning. She could play on her own as she has tons of toys in the room. Instead of waking up to her tiny meows (the only two times she meows: when she's hungry and when she wants to play with me), now I get woken up by sounds of her bell collar and cat toys being kicked around.

history

Manny PacMan Pacquiao
May 2, 2009
MGM Grand, Las Vegas



photo credit: Ethan Miller/Getty Images via Yahoo Sports



photo credit: GABRIEL BOUYS/AFP/Getty Images via Yahoo Sports



photo credit: Al Bello/Getty Images via Yahoo Sports



photo credit: GABRIEL BOUYS/AFP/Getty Images via Yahoo Sports

Boxy

As the world knows, I've got the baby fever. Haven't been lucky so far but like they say "try and try again." It's fun for the most part ;) Though stressful and totally disappointing when I get the monthly dot,dot, dot.

In the meantime, I'm exercising some maternal instinct on my cow fish, Boxy. I never imagined I'd be this attached to a fish!

We have a bunch of other creatures in the tank like a Goby fish, a damsel fish, a shrimp (forgot what kind), emerald crabs, porcelain crab, zombie snails, pyramid snails and a bunch of different corals.

Boxy is the one I care for the most. I feed him/her (we're not sure about its gender) everyday using a baster (like the one you use for baking/roasting). Boxy has this beak of a mouth that fits the tip opening of the baster perfectly. It's like I'm feeding it from a baby bottle!

I'm not sure if I've completely conditioned Boxy not to look for food on his own. He/she is most dependent on me, and the baster, for meals. I rarely see Boxy swimming down to filter some food in the sand...or just roam around the rocks to eat food debris that gets spread all over the tank.

We have a video camera set up in front of our home tank. This way, we could stream the video online for the public to enjoy and most importantly, so that I could keep an eye on our pets when we're not home. All I need is my iphone and a wi-fi connection then I can watch our aquarium whenever/wherever I am.

The first thing I do when I open my eyes in the morning is watch Boxy's live feed on Ustream. I "spy" on them, see if they're hungry or observe what kind of shenanigans they do without any humans around. This is not extreme behaviour, is it? Or is it?

As soon as I go down to our home studio/office where we have the fish tank, Boxy positions him/herself near the tank's glass wall. I'm very much convinced that if there wasn't that glass dividing us, Boxy would be jumping at me like a pet dog!

So this is what Boxy looked like back in January. No horns yet!



This is Boxy today.


I sooo love Boxy.

NightLife

One of Dino's dream parties came true. The California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco is having a weekly party for a whole month. How can you go wrong with Museum + Animals + Alcohol + Food + DJ music? Don't forget fun friends.

We just went last Thursday and have already bought tickets for next week.
The people pictures are on Dino's Facebook page. My pictures, which are all of stuffed animals, were taken with my iphone as I sipped on the first of too many cups of wine.

knock, knock

Who's there? Oh, you know, your new spring uniform.

Which one???

I so, sooo LIKE these two but have money just for one pair.

I fell in love with this patent Aqua at first sight . This would totally make my Spring.


Or should I go with Grey? Cos you know, it's a just few shades away from my religious wardrobe staple Black. It's not just grey, it's patent gorgeous awesome grey.


In living color Nina aqua or My grey makes no mistake? Alin, alin, alin ang aking pipiliin??

happy <3

Dino took me to a fancy dinner at a winery for Valentine's Day. Everything was lovely :) Surprisingly, we didn't have to drive far. We discovered that there are lots of small vineyards/wineries near San Jose. We've always thought that they were all in Napa.
The place that Dino took me to was Clos LaChance in San Martin. It's only a half hour drive from the house.
We arrived early for our dinner and so we had some wine at the bar while waiting for our table.

the Spire

I visited the Spire at the Presidio last week. This is Andy Goldsworthy's tribute to the 100+ year old forest in San Francisco.
Goldsworthy is known for his temporary art and I was surprised to find out that the Spire is a semi-permanent work. Based on the photos I saw of its construction in October, the structure has a very solid base of mixed cement and steel wire frame. Still, the Spire is nothing short of astounding.
There is an accompanying exhibit at Building 49 on Moraga Avenue inside the Presidio. I wasn't sure if it's allowed but I sneakily photographed parts of the show with my iPhone.
Some of his sketches are framed and exhibited here.

Andy spent fourteen days at the Presidio to oversee the building of the Spire. In his first few days, he created this small version inside a cabinet based on his reactions to Building 49.

In another room is the 12 foot model.

They made an imprint of the base of the biggest and tallest tree in the Spire on this huge piece of paper. The picture doesn't give it justice, of course.


Around the Spire are hundreds of these baby trees.


For more visiting info, click here.

panawagan

I've been listening to the Fleet Foxes everyday for the last month. I'm actually late in the game as these guys made noise at SXSW last year and have gotten more attention in Europe. I just took real notice when they came on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago.
Photo source

I bought their album on iTunes and cannot stop listening to it since. Now if I could only get my hands on tickets to their upcoming shows in SF. Dino suggests I camp outside The Fillmore on the day of their show. I would like to see them at the Palace of Fine Arts too.

real world

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't been posting in etertnity. Life, as you know, happens outside the monitor.
Our show Shadows of War ended its run at the Presidio last week. It was the biggest crowd! We even had two Filipino American historians who answered questions from the audience.
No pictures from my clunky camera because I'm BOOOOO! I'm lame like that. A little distraction and I can't be bothered to look through the viewfinder. I like seeing things through my own eyes. Whatever.

Anyway, I stole these photos from my castmate TJ Basa. Thanks, Teej!

This is me being so nervous because of the huge crowd. We've had packed houses on our previous shows but the last night was crazy.

Our lovely cast and crew. Look at how I'm staking my claim on Dino with my hand. Mine! Bwahahhaha!

After Let the Right One In, there are only two movies that I truly care about this season: Slumdog Millionaire and The Wrestler.
I have seen Milk, Revolutionary Road, Doubt, Curious Case of Benjamin Button and the first 10 minutes of Gran Turino. None of them come close to my "mad, pulsating affection" (as Danny Boyle said in his Golden Globes acceptance speech) for the first two films.
Just to clarify, I did not walk out of Gran Turino because it's bad or anything. I had an upset stomach and decided to leave the theater.
I have yet to find out if Eastwood's movie will have as much impact on me.


I recall having read some critic's review of Slumdog in November. It argued that the movie was primarily made by non-Indians and so whatever depiction of Mumbai life used would never be the genuine kind. It went on to say that the sentimentality of the film was nothing but a hollywood/outsider's view of India.
Wow. Desensitized, jaded, unfeeling, cynical, blinded, arrogant, ignorant, better than thou critics...
As far as I am concerned "love, the celebration of life and the triumph of the human spirit" was very much expressed in the narrative and visual of the film. It does not matter who does the telling!
Poor Danny Boyle. He didn't eat tikka masala enough for that lazy ass critic.

Some other sites did not take a liking to the dance number at the end of Slumdog. They said it was a satisfactory film until it was ruined by the Bollywood dance routine. Have these "experts" ever heard of the words tribute or homage?

Being so highly analytical of films make me such a dull and unhappy person.
I do appreciate it when Form complements Content or vice versa...I do get excited when I notice the motifs or immediately identify the long shots, the mis en scene or the different perspectives. More times though being affected by a film's story emotionally, even viscerally, is more than enough of a great experience for me. I don't stop a tear to drop just so I could ponder on Darren Aronofsky's nationality, or credibility to direct a film based on a character living in New Jersey.



Long live the heartfelt stories.

precious

I was so careless! After finding the journals from inside the Fedex envelope, I got too excited and did not bother looking for other things...like a note that supposedly came with it. I knew who it was from as the parcel was properly labeled.
I almost threw away the card that Armi made for us. Yes, I was so selfish and thought that the two notebooks were exclusively mine! It did not occur to me that there are two people in this household, the other deserving of a gift too.
How could I forgive myself if I had lost this card to the garbage bin as well?! It's a card that Armi made herself. I love the design! The shape of birds were cut out of the card's cover and they reveal the japanese paper underneath.

On the inside page, there is a paper crane attached to it.


Thanks to intarwebz technology, I was able to correct my mistake. I immediately sent a thank you note to Armi on Facebook. Impressed with the journals, I mentioned how I was looking for a tag or brand name.
Armi responded with a bit of alarm and asked if I didn't find the card. There was a letter too and in it she had explained that she made the two journal covers out of her own shirt :)

Thank you so much, Armi!!

beautiful things

A couple of days ago, I got a facebook message from Armi about a 'padala.' She said she sent me something thru Fedex. The gift from Manila came today!
It's funny that the delivery guy pointed to me that US Customs had inspected the package, thus the ugly green stickers. What did they suspect was in the envelope?

I can imagine the work hours and effort wasted on such unnecessary precaution. How could these lovely journals be of any threat?

The journal covers are made of jersey tee material with thick white needle stitching. Inside is a thick bind of recycled paper. I LOVE. They feel so homey and special. I can't help but plan that I shall only write joyful stuff on these notebooks.

first meme in 2009

So I was tagged by Lala to do this 10 facts about me thingy. I've never done one...not even in my first blog years ago. So why the heck not try it now? :)

Cutest Blogger Award or Ten Random Facts About Me

Here are the rules of this award:

1. Each blogger must post these rules.
2. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Blogger that are tagged, need to write ten facts about themselves. You need to choose ten people to tag and list their names.


Here are the 10 Random Facts/Habits About Me:

1. One piece of item I cannot live and leave the house without wearing, even under layers of outer clothes: camisole. Must be my half lifetime of catholic school uniforms/way of dressing.

2. I sleep mostly on my left side, so the end of my left eyebrow gets pressed upwards on the pillow. This makes it look shorter than my right eyebrow.

3. The back of my head is super flat. As my mom explained, I slept way too much as a baby and so my head formed that way.

4. When I eat, I kinda stick the tip of my tongue out first to taste the food in a spoon. Sort of like testing the pool water with your toes, which I never do.

5. I don't like sesame seeds, only when it's covering the rice on sushi.

6. I used to sing. Won a singing contest in 6th grade then competed at least twice in high school. I didn't win in my succeeding attempts and shunned singing and choir membership since then.

7. I love driving as it gives me so much mental space and sort of relaxes me too. At the very same time, I am extremely irritable and impatient with other drivers.

8. I hate being lost or not knowing my turns. I can drive without a GPS as long as I have directions memorized before I start the engine.

9. I refuse to take pictures when I want to enjoy a moment or an event completely.

10. I like watching movies by myself.

Okay, now I tag:

e.
thomas
gabriel
conrad
aura
judith
joedobo
miss kirsten
yato
the velascos