liam and noel

I dedicate this painting to my dear friend E. I saw it at the MoMA the other day.
It's a portrait of Liam and Noel Gallagher of Oasis by this artist Elizabeth Peyton.

eli and oskar

I am going to watch Let the Right One In for the second time tomorrow. How best to spend Thanksgiving afternoon than to watch this beautiful film.
E highly recommended the film earlier this week. I saw it with Inigo a few days ago and couldn't contain my amazement enough. Dino has to see it too!



By the way, I have finished all four books of the Twilight series. There's clearly no comparison at all but I just have to say that Let the Right One In kicks Twilight's pale butt in the vampire story department.

light

For once, I woke up on the right side of everything: not depressed and no signs of an impending panic attack . It's a miracle for me on so many counts including it's Monday, still a bit dark and of course, it's autumn cold.

Sunday morning was the horrible opposite as I had too much to drink the night before. Anxiety flooded me the minute I opened my eyes. I had a lightning recollection of the previous night and most of them were negative. I dissected every moment I was in during the Bindlestiff event and in each of them I saw myself as this loser; the loud drunk who babbled the whole night; the obnoxious party-goer who laughed hysterically; the degenerate; the useless; the senseless. Lies, truths, half truths, or whatever SHIT my brain created for me to dwell on.
I dragged myself out of bed and wrote on my journal for a few minutes. I had to purge my shitty thoughts. Easy on the alcohol, I even gave myself a note.

It was so bad, I wished I died. To say the least, I was SORE physically and mentally the whole of Sunday.
I had to put up a front for the remainder of the afternoon. We had to go to a birthday party for Dino's godchild and then spent a couple of hours at Serramonte Mall. Both activities were fun, but I would've opted to stay home and slept if possible.
Still, I think I did well to cope with the Sunday's horrible start.

I went to bed as soon as we got home. It was around 5:30.
Woke up at past 9pm and checked my Twitter. Thank God for my buddy E, I had such a blast exchanging Tweets with him. I was feeling much better!

Sleep can do wonders, no doubt. I found logic in taking a sleeping pill after midnight. I just knew I needed to rest some more.

Voila. Something's been rewired in my head and I feel a bit of mania. So many To Do lists, errands, bills, photo ideas, movies, books and other stuff swirling in my head. Whatever thoughts or ideas correspond to a compulsion for me to move, go and do.

Not wanting to lose steam, I turned on my happy light:
I forgot the technical explanation, but my iphone wouldn't take the right exposure when I took this close up shot. This is a blast of a light and you're not supposed to look or sit straight into it. It just has to be in your periphery.

Anyway, this light is specifically designed for people suffering from the winter blues. It's been with me for a couple of years and it makes a seasonal residence near the bed or sometimes in the dining room. It has different effects for different people. For me, I found that 30 minutes of sitting around it gives me the equivalent of half a cup of coffee kind of jolt. More than half an hour of it and I'm sure to be bouncing off the walls.

This is the happy room:

I left the light on for half an hour while I surfed online and typed this blog entry.

I don't want to waste my energy surge so I better get out of the house now.

fall

I started listening to audio books this week. One is called Self Esteem Affirmations: Motivational Affirmations for Building Confidence and Recognizing Self Worth. The other is Slim Forever for Women: Subliminal Self Help. Both contain subliminal messages about taking care of my mental and physical health.
I know, it sounds so hokey but I need all the help I can get. I wake up with such heaviness, like it's just so hard to go on.
Just scheduled a session with a new therapist and then I should will myself to include exercise into my lifestyle soon.

fog

I drove up to SF in the beginning of the week and I shouldn't have been surprised to find this:



I totally didn't expect a fog that thick. I missed living in SF, where the scenery perfectly matches one's melancholy.

Tag + Flo

Tag and Flo got hitched yesterday. It was a whole day affair. First there was the afternoon ceremony in a Hayward church. The dinner reception followed at the San Jose Marriot.
Wedding parties are always funny. Though we're not family or the closest friends of the couple, we were just glad to be invited and be spectators. Very full and satisfied witnesses, may I add.
This is the first time I've seen a photo booth at a reception. We took full advantage of it.

Then the funny parts:

The single girls crowd for the traditional Catch the Bouquet. They all thought that the little girl taking her chance too was cute. They reminded me of the hungry seagulls in Finding Nemo saying "Mine! Mine!"



The expected mad scramble ensued. I heard from a friend that "Did that chick really just snatch the bouquet from joce??"

Thank goodness, no one lost her hair except for the flowers. Poor bouquet.

I'm sure it's every boy's dream to catch the garter and walk down the aisle next. Right?

Dino is on a mission: to prepare an enclosed water habitat for his future pet octopus, Mister Boots.
First it was named Mister Pants, but then it's found out that the name's already taken by his co-worker's cat.

A water tank was bought and how expensive it was! I don't even want to know how much the actual octopus will cost. Now I'm expecting a lot of things from this Boots guy. He better amuse and impress me. With that I mean, I want to see antics other than the ones on YouTube like opening glass jars.
Apparently, these creatures are smart as dogs. I actually read a story about a zoo octopus that shot water at a lighting fixture, causing a power outage. It was irritated by the lights still on beyond zoo hours, or it was doing some covert operations at night and didn't want to get tracked/identified by security cameras. I probably made that last statement up. It's true about the water shooting incident though.


Some photos from today's outing:
corals for sale @ Dolphin Pet Village in Campbell (huge store and very helpful sales people)


rainbow on our way home

SoW

They like us, we think.
It was also lovely to see our friends who made the trek to Presidio for our opening night. Thank you all!

Next show is on Dec 4th.

whoabama

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

"It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.

"It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America."

--- President Barack Obama, November 4, 2008

random pictures: Treasure Island Music Festival

Some pictures taken from my iphone during the festival last September.

We didn't make it to Oliver's birthday/Halloween party. Got past dressing up, cried on the way, reached the parking area in front of the party venue and cried in the car until we decided to just leave. Cried some more. Then had a huge dinner and some sake.
So that was my Friday of "not feeling well."

I fared better yesterday, being able to photograph my friends and their daughter.




Little Shannon will be turning 1 in a few weeks. Godfather Dino has to have a gift, meaning I'll be the one who has to think of something. I have to or Shannon will end up with a baffled expression on her face when she opens a box with a Dead Space game in it.

Speaking of Dead Space and EA, I got very worried for Dino this past week. EA had to let go of many employees. I'm so glad that Dino and his friends were safe. For now, at least. You just can't be too secured these days.

I saw The Black Keys at The Fillmore last night with Dino and E.
What a great band. Although Dino couldn't handle being very close to the stage, I stayed in the same spot til the end. It was so intense, I was oblivious to everything but their music. E and I couldn't believe the band played for only an hour and a half.

I totally agree with what E said on Twitter...that whatever MTV type shit are put out and glorified these days, it's comforting to know that there still are genuine articles like The Black Keys.
They have no pretensions whatsoever. They seem to play rock music purely for the love of it and not because they need to project a badass image.
There are only two members of the band but they sound bigger and heavier than most.