I thought it was simply mercury retrograde, disrupting everything and making me the least focused and communicative. I should've known better and recognized the magnificent bullshit clockwork that is my s.a.d. (seasonal affective disorder)
The month of October seemed to be just a flat line. No blogging, hardly any posts on Facebook or Twitter and a general disinterest in any semblance of reaching out to others however virtual.
Nothing is exciting. Everything is blah. One of the few spikes in my mood happens only when I'm driving and I listen to the Russel Brand show. Then Russel resigned from the BBC this week and so now my podcast diet is reduced to his last 5 episodes on random shuffle and constant repeat.
How depressing...The thing that I relied on to entertain me and it had to go off the air forever.
More aggravating is the fact that my other favorites Mad Men, True Blood and Secret Diary of a Call Girl have aired the last episode of their series this year.
I am more assured now that this Fall to me is intentionally cruel.
I've deliberately omitted caffeine from my diet this month because it makes me too acidic. I made an exception today though, on account of having no new podcast to listen to, and drank some iced tea. The result was favorable. I had a fun time during rehearsal in the city tonight and all of a sudden I'm blogging!
Oh yeah, thank goodness for the fact that I'm involved in the Shadows of War show. I've had another thing to look forward to in the past weeks.
Tomorrow we'll be going to the Dr. Dog and Black Keys concert at the Fillmore. On Friday, there's Oliver's birthday party here in the South Bay and of course, Halloween. Saturday, I have a photo shoot during the day and a show to attend in the city at night.
Right now I'm still under the influence of tea and the idea of being out for three consecutive days seem alright.
Most likely, I will leave the house.
I may not be capable of being "happy" right now, but there's energy left in me to stage a mutiny, a teeny assault and little acts of defiance to this seasonal gloom-doom.
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