Nina Dailies

Cesar

2011-04-18T02:57:00.001-07:00

Andrea

2011-04-18T02:55:00.001-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was commisioned to do head shots for some Bindlestiff actors.

hubby

2011-03-29T05:31:00.001-07:00

third trimester

2011-03-26T22:05:00.001-07:00

My baby turns 2

2011-03-25T12:11:00.001-07:00

Time flies. My midget cat is not a baby anymore. In cat years, Lazer is now 24 years old :)

time warp

2011-03-13T12:26:00.000-07:00

world champs

2011-03-05T20:51:00.000-08:00

Funniest thing we saw today: an artist interpretation of the SF Giants team. The resemblances were so uncanny. NOT!

bright ideas

2011-03-05T20:50:00.000-08:00

stiff

2011-02-27T22:03:00.000-08:00

It's been a challenge to go out and find interesting subjects lately. I blame everything on the rain and the cold weather.

Three legged awesome

2011-02-24T01:08:00.000-08:00

I saw this guy outside the grocery store today. I think he's cute!

go away, rain

2011-02-17T12:08:00.001-08:00

catnap

2011-02-16T00:26:00.000-08:00

My cat has taken to sleeping on our bed during the day.

Moya

2011-02-16T00:23:00.000-08:00

I haven't seen my friend TJ since last Fall. We met up for an Ethiopian lunch at Moya today.
The vegetarian combo is highly recommended!

Valentine's

2011-02-16T00:15:00.000-08:00

Before the 4-course dinner at Alexander's...My husband was sleepy. Either it's because of the low lighting in the restaurant or the sort of late 9pm reservation.
Everything was delicious!

Ikearoo

2011-02-13T07:28:00.000-08:00

Went to Ikea before they closed last night. Found this guy.
Was a child mean enough to leave this here? A thirsty kangaroo at the glass section?

hearts and tax

2011-02-11T20:28:00.000-08:00

While waiting for my take out at Ongpin restaurant, I saw this tax sign beside a door that seemed to lead into a storage area. It's a bit strange, but it reminds me of a lot of places in the Philippines that have double, sometimes multiple purpose.

Juxtaposing the tax sign with a solitary figure fiddling with her iPhone and the Valentine's decor made for a little lonely situation.

blue cat

2011-02-08T15:23:00.000-08:00

Lazer is supposedly not allowed on the dining table. I just bent my own rule with the shopping bag condition.

The only way I allow her to be on the table is if it's on, or inside the bag. She loves watching the aquarium while on it.

Then she plays the you-dont-see-me game.

Boo!

waiting

2011-02-07T23:39:00.001-08:00

I went with Dino to the Philippine Consulate this morning. He needed to renew his passport

weird sign.

Took us two hours.

Ocean Beach

2011-02-06T22:52:00.001-08:00

A great Sunday to cap off the weekend. Brunch with good friends, new baby furniture and sunset at Ocean Beach. We are so blessed.

Lullaby Lane

2011-02-06T22:43:00.000-08:00

Through Rachel, we were introduced to this mom-and-pop Baby store called Lullaby Lane. It's been around for so long, its sign says "A Tradition Since 1947."
Sadly, it's closing its doors soon.

One nice thing though, we were able to find a really good changing station/dresser for such a good price. This is the very first baby furniture that we bought. It is special.

Scarlett and Rachel

2011-02-06T22:40:00.000-08:00

Rachel: our neighbor here in SF; Dino's co-worker at EA; the best resource for anything Mom/Baby related; fabulous Mom to Scarlett :)

Leavenworth & Beach

2011-02-05T21:39:00.000-08:00

ice cream at 6:30pm

2011-02-05T21:25:00.000-08:00

After brunch and some playtime with our friends and their daughter, I went home to take a nap. When I woke up, I had a craving for ensaymada.
Dino searched online for SF places that serve filipino baked goods and pastries. Almost everything was outside the city. One place stood out, although not for ensaymada. Norman's Ice Cream at Fisherman's Wharf serves Halo-halo, an equally yummy dessert.

brunch

2011-02-05T21:05:00.000-08:00

What a good Saturday. The weather was nice. The food and the company were perfect.

Serramonte

2011-02-04T18:11:00.000-08:00

point

2011-02-03T19:02:00.000-08:00

escape

2011-02-02T16:02:00.001-08:00

sleepy

2011-02-01T18:06:00.000-08:00

new sheets

Sunday

2011-01-30T22:28:00.000-08:00

Shali
Teejay
Ench
Me
Rich
Dino
Shannon

lovable tykes

2011-01-29T22:38:00.000-08:00

Koa

Connor

Lost

2011-01-28T22:36:00.001-08:00

Lost dog on Market Street and 4th.

Lost dog on Market Street near the Embarcadero.

Clara Alley

2011-01-28T22:14:00.000-08:00

This photo lead to my meeting a neighbor. As soon as I took the shot, a gate to the right of this mural opened. A woman's friendly voice started telling me the story about the mural gate's owner/painter.

It was Wilma Parker. Painter and Clara Street resident of 40 years.

Wilma inside her studio.

Check out her work here.

let's see how short I can keep this

2010-01-24T10:44:00.000-08:00

Everything's cool. Good start to 2010.

the injustice of it all

2009-09-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

A friend's FB status caught my attention the other day. She was asking everyone if it's true that Alexis Tioseco has been murdered.

First, I did not know Alexis Tioseco. Second, there was a hint that a lot of people knew this guy for my friend to make a big announcement like that.

As I have gathered online, Alexis was a well regarded film critic and teacher in Manila. His girlfriend, a Slovenian film journalist, lived with him as well. Both were shot multiple times in their home last September 1st, suspected were burglars who were connected to one of the couple's housemaids.

Some of the reports here and here.

The manner in which they died was horrible. As I read more about Alexis in his own blog, his film criticism website and in the articles he had written, I realized that his passing is a great loss to the Philippines.

From all that I've read about him in the last few days, one thing resonated the most: Alexis had so much passion for film and specially for Philippine cinema. He had so much hope for it that it consumed all of his remaining years.

This letter, which he wrote for the magazine Rogue last year, is a beautiful portrait of Alexis. It explains not only to Nica his girlfriend but also to us Filipinos about his love for local cinema.

I cried as I read the letter. I cried even more when I read his wish list.

We need more people like Alexis and none of the useless and senseless people like Philippine politicians who do nothing but disgusting things to the country.

As I was saddened about a great guy's death, I remembered a recent video of the president's son, Congressman Mikey Arroyo also known as sorry excuse for a human being!
This video felt like an eternity! The question that he could not answer was "Where did you get all of the money and property, you disgusting pig???"

It's the saddest thing that we lose good people like Alexis. It is so sickening that we have to contend with a greedy beast of a politician like Mikey Arroyo.

file under wtf

2009-09-03T19:57:00.001-07:00

I had an ultra sound earlier today, as part of our We Want to have a Baby Soon project. My blood work was viewed by the doctor as "normal" although my hormone level could be improved. Nothing appeared to be waving a red flag that's why the next step was to peek into my uterus.

Two surprises from the ultra sound:
1. I have what is called a Fibroid. Nothing to be worried about, ALTHOUGH the question of "why do I pee all the effing time???" and my tireless numero uno complaint "I go crazy for not being able to sleep all the way through the night because I have to go to the bathroom every effing hour!!!" have been answered.
This "harmless" mass of tissue has been resting comfortably near/beside/on top of my bladder. The thing pushes into almost half of my bladder, causing the latter not to fill to capacity but is always fooled into thinking it is. I saw the visual proof.
I have always complained about this to my primary physician. Since my lab tests did not show any cause for alarm and I have had no pain or difficulty urinating, I never got any satisfying answer until now.
The good news is that the fibroid's position is of no consequence to my fertility. It's also good to know that there is only one right now. I pray that it stays like that.

2. The doctor could not find my left ovary. Say what??? The ultra sound probing and poking took a bit longer than I expected. The doctor even had to press his hand on my tummy a couple of times. Nothing.
I started to get scared but then the doctor said it is quite normal for an ovary not to show in the scan. Varying factors affect its visibility, he said. Like it could shift its position; or because their ultra sound probing tool has a fixed lens, its visual reach is somehow limited; some muscle tissue or intestinal organ could be blocking the view.

The doctor did not show any sign of worry that my left ovary was missing today. He said they'll do another scan on my next appointment and then it may reappear.

When I got home, I just had to google and find out if this is a common thing among women. I guess it is. I found some discussions here and here.

While the left ovary is still unaccounted for, what has been said about my right one? We caught a glimpse of it too. Dino was sitting right next to me, holding my hand. Both of us were looking at the small video screen as the doctor checked me. Honestly though, I had a few minutes of wishful thinking inside the examination room.I've had dreams and fantasies of this scenario before, although in them we were looking at a tiny baby.

The reality is, I may or may not have enough eggs. The doctor cannot say for sure at this moment. There will be more tests in the following weeks. They will actually perform a follicle count and it seems inevitable that they will prescribe me some medication too (something to wake up my eggs and invite them out in case they are there and just too lazy to do what they're supposed to.) It all sounds like a deranged easter egg hunt.
When Dino asked him about the possibility of some problems, the doctor confidently answered that there is always a corresponding solution and treatment.

I know that I have no legitimate reason to be worried and depressed about all of this yet...still, I'm feeling weak.

The World is Flat

2009-09-03T10:16:00.000-07:00

I love discovering "new" music through friends, on Facebook even! This group is called The Montgolfier Brothers. Allan McGee from the Guardian said they came out with their first album in 2000.

This song is from their 2nd album; it's about breaking up but you don't know that until towards the end.

Journey's End is the video on the Guardian article. It is much slower and I thought it must be the band's signature style: cinematic music plus melancholic vocals.

This music fits my emotional state these days. There's been some bothering news from Manila. They do not involve me personally, none on my family's end too. I'll write another post soon.

the worst

2009-08-30T01:35:00.000-07:00

I feel horrible about myself tonight.

I have friends visiting from LA and I met up with them for dinner. Before their plane landed, I took the liberty of choosing the restaurant and making the dinner reservation for 8pm. So when they finally arrived, all we had to do was drive to the place.

After the meal, I helped put left overs in boxes/styro containers. As I was doing this, they convinced me to take most of the food home. I agreed.

Only WAY AFTER I had driven them to Walgreens for supplies, then back to their hotel and when I was already back home here in San Jose that I realized: I DID NOT GIVE MY SHARE OF THE FOOD BILL.

I AM SO DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF RIGHT NOW!!! How could I be that distracted that I didn't pay for my share? It is not me.
I can't think of a reason why I would forget to do such an important thing. It's so weird!

As soon as I realized my mistake, I sent a text message to my friends, thanked them for dinner and told them that I will treat them to lunch tomorrow.

Gosh, how could I be so absent minded? I hate it.
On the drive home, my eyes were so heavy that I was fighting to stay up on the wheel. I realized I didn't get enough sleep last night and I suffered the embarrassing consequence at the dining table.

30th

2009-08-30T00:54:00.000-07:00

This may be a new compulsion forming: a blog post every 30th of the month. Well, I hope it doesn't take that long for me to write...I got mounting stuff to purge.

I've been thinking of deleting all of my networking site accounts. I am close to doing it!
Believe it or not, I still have Friendster. Why on earth do I still want to take up space there? The silly reason that I can't kill it yet is because I signed up for it in 2003. It is such an antique.

MySpace can eat dirt for all I care. Wait, let me go there and end its uselessness...
Dang! They ask for too many things before they let you go. I just wanted out and they made me check my email, click on click stuff and was told to wait 48 hours for cancellation to take effect. You suck, MySpace. I'm glad to be done with you!

Next on the guillotine: Multiply. Next next: Twitter? We shall see...

heyyyy

2009-07-30T13:15:00.000-07:00

It's been a while.

I'm back here cos I'm suddenly sick of Twitter. I wasn't the most active Tweet-er anyway. Like Facebook, I've gotten tired of it. Until the next popular networking site comes along, I'll be dumping my nonsense here.

So what's up? I've been playing Mom yet again. Poor Boxy, I hardly have time for the fishy. If only my new baby, Lazer, is allowed in the aquarium room, they could be friends. Alas, the kitten is not to play with the fish! Everyone knows how that always end.
It wasn't such a tough decision but I now spend most of my time with the kitty cat.

This girl dominates my life right now. First thing in the morning and before I do anything else, I feed her and let her use the bathroom. It's our morning ritual.

In her first few weeks with us, she would wake me up as early as 3am and would be in a playing mood. I've indulged her many times but realized that if I'd continued, I would never get enough sleep.
Eventually, I learned to ignore her between 3 and 6 in the morning. She could play on her own as she has tons of toys in the room. Instead of waking up to her tiny meows (the only two times she meows: when she's hungry and when she wants to play with me), now I get woken up by sounds of her bell collar and cat toys being kicked around.

history

2009-05-03T22:45:00.000-07:00

Manny PacMan Pacquiao
May 2, 2009
MGM Grand, Las Vegas

photo credit: Ethan Miller/Getty Images via Yahoo Sports

photo credit: GABRIEL BOUYS/AFP/Getty Images via Yahoo Sports

photo credit: Al Bello/Getty Images via Yahoo Sports

photo credit: GABRIEL BOUYS/AFP/Getty Images via Yahoo Sports

Boxy

2009-03-17T02:37:00.000-07:00

As the world knows, I've got the baby fever. Haven't been lucky so far but like they say "try and try again." It's fun for the most part ;) Though stressful and totally disappointing when I get the monthly dot,dot, dot.

In the meantime, I'm exercising some maternal instinct on my cow fish, Boxy. I never imagined I'd be this attached to a fish!

We have a bunch of other creatures in the tank like a Goby fish, a damsel fish, a shrimp (forgot what kind), emerald crabs, porcelain crab, zombie snails, pyramid snails and a bunch of different corals.

Boxy is the one I care for the most. I feed him/her (we're not sure about its gender) everyday using a baster (like the one you use for baking/roasting). Boxy has this beak of a mouth that fits the tip opening of the baster perfectly. It's like I'm feeding it from a baby bottle!

I'm not sure if I've completely conditioned Boxy not to look for food on his own. He/she is most dependent on me, and the baster, for meals. I rarely see Boxy swimming down to filter some food in the sand...or just roam around the rocks to eat food debris that gets spread all over the tank.

We have a video camera set up in front of our home tank. This way, we could stream the video online for the public to enjoy and most importantly, so that I could keep an eye on our pets when we're not home. All I need is my iphone and a wi-fi connection then I can watch our aquarium whenever/wherever I am.

The first thing I do when I open my eyes in the morning is watch Boxy's live feed on Ustream. I "spy" on them, see if they're hungry or observe what kind of shenanigans they do without any humans around. This is not extreme behaviour, is it? Or is it?

As soon as I go down to our home studio/office where we have the fish tank, Boxy positions him/herself near the tank's glass wall. I'm very much convinced that if there wasn't that glass dividing us, Boxy would be jumping at me like a pet dog!

So this is what Boxy looked like back in January. No horns yet!

This is Boxy today.

I sooo love Boxy.

NightLife

2009-02-21T21:27:00.000-08:00

One of Dino's dream parties came true. The California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco is having a weekly party for a whole month. How can you go wrong with Museum + Animals + Alcohol + Food + DJ music? Don't forget fun friends.

We just went last Thursday and have already bought tickets for next week.
The people pictures are on Dino's Facebook page. My pictures, which are all of stuffed animals, were taken with my iphone as I sipped on the first of too many cups of wine.

knock, knock

2009-02-21T21:17:00.000-08:00

Who's there? Oh, you know, your new spring uniform.

Which one???

2009-02-17T00:20:00.000-08:00

I so, sooo LIKE these two but have money just for one pair.

I fell in love with this patent Aqua at first sight . This would totally make my Spring.

Or should I go with Grey? Cos you know, it's a just few shades away from my religious wardrobe staple Black. It's not just grey, it's patent gorgeous awesome grey.

In living color Nina aqua or My grey makes no mistake? Alin, alin, alin ang aking pipiliin??

happy <3

2009-02-16T22:59:00.000-08:00

Dino took me to a fancy dinner at a winery for Valentine's Day. Everything was lovely :) Surprisingly, we didn't have to drive far. We discovered that there are lots of small vineyards/wineries near San Jose. We've always thought that they were all in Napa.
The place that Dino took me to was Clos LaChance in San Martin. It's only a half hour drive from the house.
We arrived early for our dinner and so we had some wine at the bar while waiting for our table.

the Spire

2009-02-16T22:23:00.000-08:00

I visited the Spire at the Presidio last week. This is Andy Goldsworthy's tribute to the 100+ year old forest in San Francisco.
Goldsworthy is known for his temporary art and I was surprised to find out that the Spire is a semi-permanent work. Based on the photos I saw of its construction in October, the structure has a very solid base of mixed cement and steel wire frame. Still, the Spire is nothing short of astounding.
There is an accompanying exhibit at Building 49 on Moraga Avenue inside the Presidio. I wasn't sure if it's allowed but I sneakily photographed parts of the show with my iPhone.
Some of his sketches are framed and exhibited here.

Andy spent fourteen days at the Presidio to oversee the building of the Spire. In his first few days, he created this small version inside a cabinet based on his reactions to Building 49.

In another room is the 12 foot model.

They made an imprint of the base of the biggest and tallest tree in the Spire on this huge piece of paper. The picture doesn't give it justice, of course.

Around the Spire are hundreds of these baby trees.

For more visiting info, click here.

panawagan

2009-02-12T09:39:00.000-08:00

I've been listening to the Fleet Foxes everyday for the last month. I'm actually late in the game as these guys made noise at SXSW last year and have gotten more attention in Europe. I just took real notice when they came on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago.
Photo source

I bought their album on iTunes and cannot stop listening to it since. Now if I could only get my hands on tickets to their upcoming shows in SF. Dino suggests I camp outside The Fillmore on the day of their show. I would like to see them at the Palace of Fine Arts too.

real world

2009-02-12T09:23:00.000-08:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't been posting in etertnity. Life, as you know, happens outside the monitor.
Our show Shadows of War ended its run at the Presidio last week. It was the biggest crowd! We even had two Filipino American historians who answered questions from the audience.
No pictures from my clunky camera because I'm BOOOOO! I'm lame like that. A little distraction and I can't be bothered to look through the viewfinder. I like seeing things through my own eyes. Whatever.

Anyway, I stole these photos from my castmate TJ Basa. Thanks, Teej!

This is me being so nervous because of the huge crowd. We've had packed houses on our previous shows but the last night was crazy.

Our lovely cast and crew. Look at how I'm staking my claim on Dino with my hand. Mine! Bwahahhaha!

2009-01-19T21:48:00.000-08:00

After Let the Right One In, there are only two movies that I truly care about this season: Slumdog Millionaire and The Wrestler.
I have seen Milk, Revolutionary Road, Doubt, Curious Case of Benjamin Button and the first 10 minutes of Gran Turino. None of them come close to my "mad, pulsating affection" (as Danny Boyle said in his Golden Globes acceptance speech) for the first two films.
Just to clarify, I did not walk out of Gran Turino because it's bad or anything. I had an upset stomach and decided to leave the theater.
I have yet to find out if Eastwood's movie will have as much impact on me.

I recall having read some critic's review of Slumdog in November. It argued that the movie was primarily made by non-Indians and so whatever depiction of Mumbai life used would never be the genuine kind. It went on to say that the sentimentality of the film was nothing but a hollywood/outsider's view of India.
Wow. Desensitized, jaded, unfeeling, cynical, blinded, arrogant, ignorant, better than thou critics...
As far as I am concerned "love, the celebration of life and the triumph of the human spirit" was very much expressed in the narrative and visual of the film. It does not matter who does the telling!
Poor Danny Boyle. He didn't eat tikka masala enough for that lazy ass critic.

Some other sites did not take a liking to the dance number at the end of Slumdog. They said it was a satisfactory film until it was ruined by the Bollywood dance routine. Have these "experts" ever heard of the words tribute or homage?

Being so highly analytical of films make me such a dull and unhappy person.
I do appreciate it when Form complements Content or vice versa...I do get excited when I notice the motifs or immediately identify the long shots, the mis en scene or the different perspectives. More times though being affected by a film's story emotionally, even viscerally, is more than enough of a great experience for me. I don't stop a tear to drop just so I could ponder on Darren Aronofsky's nationality, or credibility to direct a film based on a character living in New Jersey.

Long live the heartfelt stories.

precious

2009-01-08T15:14:00.000-08:00

I was so careless! After finding the journals from inside the Fedex envelope, I got too excited and did not bother looking for other things...like a note that supposedly came with it. I knew who it was from as the parcel was properly labeled.
I almost threw away the card that Armi made for us. Yes, I was so selfish and thought that the two notebooks were exclusively mine! It did not occur to me that there are two people in this household, the other deserving of a gift too.
How could I forgive myself if I had lost this card to the garbage bin as well?! It's a card that Armi made herself. I love the design! The shape of birds were cut out of the card's cover and they reveal the japanese paper underneath.

On the inside page, there is a paper crane attached to it.

Thanks to intarwebz technology, I was able to correct my mistake. I immediately sent a thank you note to Armi on Facebook. Impressed with the journals, I mentioned how I was looking for a tag or brand name.
Armi responded with a bit of alarm and asked if I didn't find the card. There was a letter too and in it she had explained that she made the two journal covers out of her own shirt :)

Thank you so much, Armi!!

beautiful things

2009-01-08T12:15:00.000-08:00

A couple of days ago, I got a facebook message from Armi about a 'padala.' She said she sent me something thru Fedex. The gift from Manila came today!
It's funny that the delivery guy pointed to me that US Customs had inspected the package, thus the ugly green stickers. What did they suspect was in the envelope?

I can imagine the work hours and effort wasted on such unnecessary precaution. How could these lovely journals be of any threat?

The journal covers are made of jersey tee material with thick white needle stitching. Inside is a thick bind of recycled paper. I LOVE. They feel so homey and special. I can't help but plan that I shall only write joyful stuff on these notebooks.

first meme in 2009

2009-01-03T00:17:00.000-08:00

So I was tagged by Lala to do this 10 facts about me thingy. I've never done one...not even in my first blog years ago. So why the heck not try it now? :)

Cutest Blogger Award or Ten Random Facts About Me

Here are the rules of this award:

1. Each blogger must post these rules.
2. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Blogger that are tagged, need to write ten facts about themselves. You need to choose ten people to tag and list their names.

Here are the 10 Random Facts/Habits About Me:

1. One piece of item I cannot live and leave the house without wearing, even under layers of outer clothes: camisole. Must be my half lifetime of catholic school uniforms/way of dressing.

2. I sleep mostly on my left side, so the end of my left eyebrow gets pressed upwards on the pillow. This makes it look shorter than my right eyebrow.

3. The back of my head is super flat. As my mom explained, I slept way too much as a baby and so my head formed that way.

4. When I eat, I kinda stick the tip of my tongue out first to taste the food in a spoon. Sort of like testing the pool water with your toes, which I never do.

5. I don't like sesame seeds, only when it's covering the rice on sushi.

6. I used to sing. Won a singing contest in 6th grade then competed at least twice in high school. I didn't win in my succeeding attempts and shunned singing and choir membership since then.

7. I love driving as it gives me so much mental space and sort of relaxes me too. At the very same time, I am extremely irritable and impatient with other drivers.

8. I hate being lost or not knowing my turns. I can drive without a GPS as long as I have directions memorized before I start the engine.

9. I refuse to take pictures when I want to enjoy a moment or an event completely.

10. I like watching movies by myself.

Okay, now I tag:

e.
thomas
gabriel
conrad
aura
judith
joedobo
miss kirsten
yato
the velascos

sunday at the california academy of sciences

2008-12-21T21:34:00.000-08:00

This aquarium supposedly has coral reef from the Philippines.

That dude from Green Day.

Don't adjust your screen. The fish heads are indeed upside down.

Dino and I could stare at this all day.

Nautilus in such a cramped space.

Glow in the dark.

Another oddity, the upside down jelly fish.

Jolie-Pitt lips.

Baaad picture. Just trying to demonstrate the size of that ugly fish behind Dino.

Under the sea...with three spiraling levels of simulated tropical rain forest above.
View from top.

leonardo

2008-12-18T15:56:00.000-08:00

Seen and heard in downtown San Jose a couple of days ago:

kid: Miss Sullivan, I think they should give the horse underwear next time.
teacher: *looked up at the giant horse statue and was stupefied*

remains

2008-12-17T23:03:00.001-08:00

2008-12-16T16:54:00.000-08:00

distance

2008-12-16T14:13:00.000-08:00

I just received a Christmas card from my mom in the Philippines and I cannot stop crying.
The card contains a quote from some person named Linda Sackett-Morrison. I don't really care who she is but I am thankful that she and Blue Mountain Arts card company exist. No matter how unoriginal, I choose to hear my mother's voice through these printed words.

"My daughter, these special wishes are just for you at Christmas...

When you close your eyes at the end of each day, I wish you contented and peaceful sleep.
When you are fearful or uncertain, I wish for warmth and light to surround you.
When you dream, I wish you soaring images and endless possibilities.
When you wake each morning, I wish you the joy of anticipating a beautiful day ahead.
When you face problems, I wish you boundless strength and courage to guide you.
When you walk along your path, I wish you lasting friendships to brighten your way.
Most of all, I wish you love...to fill your heart and make your world complete."

ocean beach

2008-12-13T01:24:00.000-08:00

I'm slowly finding my path. Being out of work for some months now, and also with much prodding from Dino, I made the decision to recover my artist child.
Although I've had the opportunity to work as a photographer in the last 4 years, I have not really cultivated the artist in me with any consistency. The artist that I aimed to be since I finished my fine art degree has been in the shadows and I just realized that this has made me so unhappy. There's an important part of my self that I've neglected for years.
I've had too many fears, and I still do...but I cannot allow my self to be in this negative situation any longer.

I just started a course to recover my creativity and inspiration with the help of a book called The Artist's Way. In the past weeks I've been following the ideas, suggested activities and tasks in the book.
I'm slowly going back to taking pictures for myself and not for a company or other purposes. I'm trying to rediscover the pleasure of taking photos, without preconceived ideas and simply going out and just doing it.

sunset

2008-12-10T23:21:00.000-08:00

My in laws are staying with us until the 18th. I wish they could stay longer. I wish they could be here until Spring.
I find that I am most stable when family is around. Too bad for me, Daddy and Mama will be leaving next week to join the rest of the clan in Manila. The thought of another Christmas alone depresses me.

After spending the first half of the day at home, I wandered around a park to take some photos.

2008-12-10T00:13:00.001-08:00

I found some of my Santa Cruz photos from at least three summers ago. I should print them out. They'll be good as my little pep talk every dull, slow winter morning.

EA Christmas party

2008-12-08T12:36:00.000-08:00

EA's holiday party last Saturday was the best big party I've attended. What a difference a generous company budget can make. I can't even imagine what they used to do before the credit crunch.
Everything from the different food spreads, drinks and entertainment was quite impressive. They even had a Casino area complete with slot machines, card tables and dealers.
Dino and I got to sample at least three different cuisines (chinese, japanese, american). We would've tried three more but we got distracted. We helped ourselves to the free alcohol, lots of dancing, photo booth and a bit of karaoke.

The few photos I managed to take with my phone were of the dessert spread. They had popcorn, tons of candy/chocolate/cakes/pastries and all the stuff that make you run to the dentist. Piles of chinese take out boxes were there on the table as well. I would've managed to collect loads of treats if I were sober enough.

wish

2008-12-02T12:19:00.000-08:00

I just want to be well...be creative...be happy.

park life

2008-12-02T12:15:00.001-08:00

Beautiful freaks of nature seen at Kelley Park here in San Jose.

Turkey Day

2008-12-02T11:57:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving at Tita Mitos' (Mike's mom) was simple and nice. We had the traditional turkey and stuffing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and homemade apple pie.
Our stomachs have officially started to stretch bigger, the unavoidable physical tradition during winter time.

Munching on cookies and quiche while waiting for the Turkey to cook.

Playing Wii tennis--brave attempt to offset the holiday calories. I did not see the point and so I did not participate.

Tasha checking on the humans. Yup, they're as hungry as she was.

Who knows how to carve this fowl?

moma

2008-12-02T11:25:00.000-08:00

This caught my attention last week. I'm not sure I understood it though. There's a baby at the very center of the circle, and the poodles seem like they are predators and protectors at the same time. Fascinating to look at...though I didn't involve myself long enough to figure out what the message was.
Sometimes "art" tire me.

liam and noel

2008-11-27T10:54:00.001-08:00

I dedicate this painting to my dear friend E. I saw it at the MoMA the other day.
It's a portrait of Liam and Noel Gallagher of Oasis by this artist Elizabeth Peyton.

eli and oskar

2008-11-26T18:23:00.000-08:00

I am going to watch Let the Right One In for the second time tomorrow. How best to spend Thanksgiving afternoon than to watch this beautiful film.
E highly recommended the film earlier this week. I saw it with Inigo a few days ago and couldn't contain my amazement enough. Dino has to see it too!

By the way, I have finished all four books of the Twilight series. There's clearly no comparison at all but I just have to say that Let the Right One In kicks Twilight's pale butt in the vampire story department.

light

2008-11-24T10:27:00.000-08:00

For once, I woke up on the right side of everything: not depressed and no signs of an impending panic attack . It's a miracle for me on so many counts including it's Monday, still a bit dark and of course, it's autumn cold.

Sunday morning was the horrible opposite as I had too much to drink the night before. Anxiety flooded me the minute I opened my eyes. I had a lightning recollection of the previous night and most of them were negative. I dissected every moment I was in during the Bindlestiff event and in each of them I saw myself as this loser; the loud drunk who babbled the whole night; the obnoxious party-goer who laughed hysterically; the degenerate; the useless; the senseless. Lies, truths, half truths, or whatever SHIT my brain created for me to dwell on.
I dragged myself out of bed and wrote on my journal for a few minutes. I had to purge my shitty thoughts. Easy on the alcohol, I even gave myself a note.

It was so bad, I wished I died. To say the least, I was SORE physically and mentally the whole of Sunday.
I had to put up a front for the remainder of the afternoon. We had to go to a birthday party for Dino's godchild and then spent a couple of hours at Serramonte Mall. Both activities were fun, but I would've opted to stay home and slept if possible.
Still, I think I did well to cope with the Sunday's horrible start.

I went to bed as soon as we got home. It was around 5:30.
Woke up at past 9pm and checked my Twitter. Thank God for my buddy E, I had such a blast exchanging Tweets with him. I was feeling much better!

Sleep can do wonders, no doubt. I found logic in taking a sleeping pill after midnight. I just knew I needed to rest some more.

Voila. Something's been rewired in my head and I feel a bit of mania. So many To Do lists, errands, bills, photo ideas, movies, books and other stuff swirling in my head. Whatever thoughts or ideas correspond to a compulsion for me to move, go and do.

Not wanting to lose steam, I turned on my happy light:
I forgot the technical explanation, but my iphone wouldn't take the right exposure when I took this close up shot. This is a blast of a light and you're not supposed to look or sit straight into it. It just has to be in your periphery.

Anyway, this light is specifically designed for people suffering from the winter blues. It's been with me for a couple of years and it makes a seasonal residence near the bed or sometimes in the dining room. It has different effects for different people. For me, I found that 30 minutes of sitting around it gives me the equivalent of half a cup of coffee kind of jolt. More than half an hour of it and I'm sure to be bouncing off the walls.

This is the happy room:

I left the light on for half an hour while I surfed online and typed this blog entry.

I don't want to waste my energy surge so I better get out of the house now.

fall

2008-11-22T15:58:00.001-08:00

I started listening to audio books this week. One is called Self Esteem Affirmations: Motivational Affirmations for Building Confidence and Recognizing Self Worth. The other is Slim Forever for Women: Subliminal Self Help. Both contain subliminal messages about taking care of my mental and physical health.
I know, it sounds so hokey but I need all the help I can get. I wake up with such heaviness, like it's just so hard to go on.
Just scheduled a session with a new therapist and then I should will myself to include exercise into my lifestyle soon.

fog

2008-11-21T22:53:00.000-08:00

I drove up to SF in the beginning of the week and I shouldn't have been surprised to find this:

I totally didn't expect a fog that thick. I missed living in SF, where the scenery perfectly matches one's melancholy.

Tag + Flo

2008-11-16T20:29:00.000-08:00

Tag and Flo got hitched yesterday. It was a whole day affair. First there was the afternoon ceremony in a Hayward church. The dinner reception followed at the San Jose Marriot.
Wedding parties are always funny. Though we're not family or the closest friends of the couple, we were just glad to be invited and be spectators. Very full and satisfied witnesses, may I add.
This is the first time I've seen a photo booth at a reception. We took full advantage of it.

Then the funny parts:

The single girls crowd for the traditional Catch the Bouquet. They all thought that the little girl taking her chance too was cute. They reminded me of the hungry seagulls in Finding Nemo saying "Mine! Mine!"

The expected mad scramble ensued. I heard from a friend that "Did that chick really just snatch the bouquet from joce??"

Thank goodness, no one lost her hair except for the flowers. Poor bouquet.

I'm sure it's every boy's dream to catch the garter and walk down the aisle next. Right?

2008-11-09T01:19:00.000-08:00

Dino is on a mission: to prepare an enclosed water habitat for his future pet octopus, Mister Boots.
First it was named Mister Pants, but then it's found out that the name's already taken by his co-worker's cat.

A water tank was bought and how expensive it was! I don't even want to know how much the actual octopus will cost. Now I'm expecting a lot of things from this Boots guy. He better amuse and impress me. With that I mean, I want to see antics other than the ones on YouTube like opening glass jars.
Apparently, these creatures are smart as dogs. I actually read a story about a zoo octopus that shot water at a lighting fixture, causing a power outage. It was irritated by the lights still on beyond zoo hours, or it was doing some covert operations at night and didn't want to get tracked/identified by security cameras. I probably made that last statement up. It's true about the water shooting incident though.

Some photos from today's outing:
corals for sale @ Dolphin Pet Village in Campbell (huge store and very helpful sales people)

rainbow on our way home

SoW

2008-11-09T01:11:00.001-08:00

They like us, we think.
It was also lovely to see our friends who made the trek to Presidio for our opening night. Thank you all!

Next show is on Dec 4th.

whoabama

2008-11-08T21:14:00.001-08:00

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

"It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.

"It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America."

--- President Barack Obama, November 4, 2008

random pictures: Treasure Island Music Festival

2008-11-02T16:13:00.000-08:00

Some pictures taken from my iphone during the festival last September.

2008-11-02T15:01:00.000-08:00

We didn't make it to Oliver's birthday/Halloween party. Got past dressing up, cried on the way, reached the parking area in front of the party venue and cried in the car until we decided to just leave. Cried some more. Then had a huge dinner and some sake.
So that was my Friday of "not feeling well."

I fared better yesterday, being able to photograph my friends and their daughter.

Little Shannon will be turning 1 in a few weeks. Godfather Dino has to have a gift, meaning I'll be the one who has to think of something. I have to or Shannon will end up with a baffled expression on her face when she opens a box with a Dead Space game in it.

Speaking of Dead Space and EA, I got very worried for Dino this past week. EA had to let go of many employees. I'm so glad that Dino and his friends were safe. For now, at least. You just can't be too secured these days.

2008-11-01T00:48:00.000-07:00

I saw The Black Keys at The Fillmore last night with Dino and E.
What a great band. Although Dino couldn't handle being very close to the stage, I stayed in the same spot til the end. It was so intense, I was oblivious to everything but their music. E and I couldn't believe the band played for only an hour and a half.

I totally agree with what E said on Twitter...that whatever MTV type shit are put out and glorified these days, it's comforting to know that there still are genuine articles like The Black Keys.
They have no pretensions whatsoever. They seem to play rock music purely for the love of it and not because they need to project a badass image.
There are only two members of the band but they sound bigger and heavier than most.

F U georgina baillie and stupid andrew sachs

2008-10-30T01:05:00.000-07:00

I thought it was simply mercury retrograde, disrupting everything and making me the least focused and communicative. I should've known better and recognized the magnificent bullshit clockwork that is my s.a.d. (seasonal affective disorder)
The month of October seemed to be just a flat line. No blogging, hardly any posts on Facebook or Twitter and a general disinterest in any semblance of reaching out to others however virtual.

Nothing is exciting. Everything is blah. One of the few spikes in my mood happens only when I'm driving and I listen to the Russel Brand show. Then Russel resigned from the BBC this week and so now my podcast diet is reduced to his last 5 episodes on random shuffle and constant repeat.
How depressing...The thing that I relied on to entertain me and it had to go off the air forever.
More aggravating is the fact that my other favorites Mad Men, True Blood and Secret Diary of a Call Girl have aired the last episode of their series this year.
I am more assured now that this Fall to me is intentionally cruel.

I've deliberately omitted caffeine from my diet this month because it makes me too acidic. I made an exception today though, on account of having no new podcast to listen to, and drank some iced tea. The result was favorable. I had a fun time during rehearsal in the city tonight and all of a sudden I'm blogging!

Oh yeah, thank goodness for the fact that I'm involved in the Shadows of War show. I've had another thing to look forward to in the past weeks.

Tomorrow we'll be going to the Dr. Dog and Black Keys concert at the Fillmore. On Friday, there's Oliver's birthday party here in the South Bay and of course, Halloween. Saturday, I have a photo shoot during the day and a show to attend in the city at night.

Right now I'm still under the influence of tea and the idea of being out for three consecutive days seem alright.
Most likely, I will leave the house.
I may not be capable of being "happy" right now, but there's energy left in me to stage a mutiny, a teeny assault and little acts of defiance to this seasonal gloom-doom.

2008-09-29T23:36:00.000-07:00

A random mix of a post. I just started watching HBO's True Blood. We used to have a subscription to the channel but had it cancelled since we end up buying the dvds anyway. Thanks to Omz, who introduced Dino to an online source for tv shows. We just finished episode 1, will devour the next 3 soon.

Yesterday was Bindlestiff's potluck picnic in SF's McLaren park. It was great fun because it's always cool to be with our theater folks. No need for grand reasons, like a show or birthday, to gather. Well, it was some sort of holding on to summer fun. Except that the wind was at its fiercest, driving the point that it's the end of the season and we should have thought of optional venues for the bbq (the warm south, hello?).

The Aristocrat chicken was an almost disaster! I came close to cooking everything at home but Dino stopped me. Not that I had pyschic thoughts of the winds and the difficulty it would pose. I just didn't want to bother working the whole time we're out there. Dino made a good point though, the actual grilling is part of a true picnic experience. So we compromised, I was to pre-cook the meat in the oven and he would be bbq-ing them to perfection at the event.
The charcoal heat was too much and it burned some of the chicken pieces quite quickly. The wind was of course the enemy, blowing ash everywhere and all over our cooking. Then we ran out of charcoal, and had to wait for folks who were bringing some to the park.

I didn't get to eat any of the bbq. Everyone liked it though and finished everything...so it was not a complete failure. What I focused on yesterday were the sweets! How I lost to the evil sugar.
-some carrot-y cupcakes topped with s'mores-like icing and sprinkled with choco shavings (Greg and Gemma)
-leche flan from Valerios (i don't know who's responsible)
-oven fresh chocolate chip cookies (Al Manalo)
-cantaloupe swimming in Hennesy (Kevin Correa)
-guinataan with tapioca and beans (Evelyn)

Man, it was freezing! Too bad for those like me, who didn't play basketball, soccer or dodge ball. Eating accounted for some physical movement in an attempt to generate more body warmth.

Julius D was there yesterday. We rarely see this guy and he surprised us (dino and me) with a late wedding present. He gave us the film negatives of the photos he took during our civil wedding 2 years ago, plus some contact sheets and scanned images on a dvd. He also gave us a giant print of one of his works- its a street scene of a child sleeping inside a tricycle. I cannot wait to have this properly framed and displayed in our home!

I love the pictures he took during the wedding. I told him over text message today that his photos took me back much more vividly to that special day. We already have a wedding album gifted to us by Mike Ricca and we're so thankful that Julius was able to capture another perspective of the event.

If I'm to interpret the body language, I was indeed a bundle of nerves. I held on to that bouquet for balance and security. Gosh, I was so fat then LOL! I loved that I was wearing my Lola's dress, although I had to wear a wide obi-like belt to play down the fact that it's oversized.

Under the SF City Hall dome. Julius was kinda spidey/ninja. I don't think anyone else had the idea to take the shot from this view.

I like how Diane Arbus this feels like.

2008-09-26T11:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, let's get this out of the way. We saw Spring Awakening at the Curran Theater last night.

This is not a review.

I did not hate it.
I did not love it.

For those who loved it and have seen it more than once, and plan to see it a 3rd or 4th time, go right ahead. Whatever floats your boat, right? Read no further, it's up to you.

I'm not hating.
The musical does not warrant violent reactions from me. It does not deserve an all caps fuck you. Yes, because it's that bland and does not pose a threat of any kind.
Is it something so new and revolutionary and I am nothing but fearful of it? Meh. Hardly.

It is akin to a fat-free, sugarless vanilla jelly. Vanilla being the default of all default flavors. Jelly because however jiggly amusing or almost filling, still is insubstantial.

It reminds me of having a little puppy, not even a chihuahua cos that's feisty, trying to chew my finger but the baby hardly has sharp teeth. It ends up a micro massage, harmless and strangely soothing. I am more weird for thinking this, please don't assume the same of the play.

It is High School Musical with a bit of the OC that aimed high, went to Juilliard but didn't quite finish the course. Now it deliberately wants to flash some punk street cred but it hasn't shed the prestige completely to be labeled a dropout.

It's the little very well trained troupe that could. The child actor transitioning to older parts. Suddenly Harry Potter had to strip for Equus. The Jonas Brothers posing as a rock group. They play their instruments but I just don't believe it .
It's pretty with some talent...only that.

It's not truly sweet. Not truly funny. Not truly tragic.
The only character that stood out, I'm using the term loosely, had to die but even that didn't make an impact.

There's supposed to be sex, the idea of purity being smashed and authority being ridiculed. All I saw was a cliff note reenacted on stage.
Where's the rawness of the act? The flashing of the breasts and the writhing motion didn't do anything for me even as I sat on the 4th row. Give me that at least, the visceral, the titillating...it was all for nothing.

Is it rock? Yes,but only set to 6. We all know Spinal Top had it at 11. But anyway, blame Duncan Shiek who wrote all the music.
I am old and I'm trying to recall the details of why I know him. He had one popular song in the 90s and like the ticket to Spring Awakening, I bought it because it had a promise.
A little bit indie, a little bit emo...it's the rock shirt you didn't buy at the concert you didn't go to so you paid for it at Urban Outfitters.
It's coloring by numbers and I sat through it hoping they'd veer outside the lines.

It's just Not Quite. It's not even quite annoying so I finished it all the way to the end.
I had one and a half favorite songs. That half, I don't remember the words...only a few lines sung in discordant notes. The full song I liked was the final chorus only because "Okay, I can go home now."

ha-va-ee, some highlights

2008-09-25T13:26:00.000-07:00

I think we went at the perfect time--End of mainland summer when kids are back in school and before winter,which is when tourists from the rest of the world rush to to the island.
The effects were most favorable for us: Short lines or none at all when we visited the USS Arizona at Pearl Harbor (we've heard of 3 hour waiting time), short to zero wait for a table at restaurants; Waikiki was less crowded. Our friends described to us how crazy and packed it gets there during peak season.

Getting a rental car was a great call. Since there was relatively less number of tourists, street parking or traffic was not a problem at all. We hit up most friends-suggested food places in the north, east and south of Oahu. No great restaurants on the southwest side, our hotel location.

Not missing Sunday mass. The officiating priest was Filipino too. Although I was slightly uncomfortable when he asked visitors to stand (just Dino and me, as it was a very local church) and get lei-d.

Driving around each day. Hey, it looks like Manila! ...but cleaner.

Boots and Kimo's breakfast joint in Kailua. Dino has a default description for the best food he has ever tasted and it's "It is so good, you will forget your mother's name." I will follow it up with "You will forget yours."

Malasadas at Leonard's Bakery. Hot, fresh, soft, melts in your mouth doughnut without a hole...DEEP FRIED and covered in SUGAR. Yummmmmmmm. Who am I? I die.

Hawaii 3: luxury

2008-09-25T01:19:00.000-07:00

Besides being able to travel to Hawaii, it was more than a luxury and privilege for us to not care about To Do lists, deadlines and deliverables. I had to learn this from Dino, of course.

The best parts of our Hawaii trip were the unplanned and spontaneous. We had friends who treated us to dinner three times and even took us to amazing places that were not on my list. We had enjoyed food and restaurants that were highly suggested to us thru Facebook and Twitter when we were already in Honolulu.

Sunrise woke us up ...we ate, swam and drove around whenever we pleased. A little background info about the place helped, but we didn't force ourselves to see the whole of Oahu like we were going to be tested at the end of the trip...like the success of the vacation hinged on having seen or done it all. And so we were never pressed for time. Our drives were most fun, and we just let the environment surprise and amaze us.

Although I'm quite proud that I knew a thing or two about Kamehameha, figured the east and west of H1, learned such expressions as da kine or the difference between Kona and trade winds. And VOG, instead of fog...we witnessed Honolulu as it was covered in volcanic haze.

It wasn't all paradise perfect. We had lost half a day trying to fix our GPS then eventually we discovered that our rental car's lighter/electronic plug was the one broken. This after having bought a car accessory at Wal-Mart, hoping that it would be the fix. We had to delay breakfast and lunch to get the car exchanged at the airport. Bad mood and high temper between us all of Tuesday morning, but that's not important. We didn't miss an appointment or a show and we went on with our day in Waikiki.

Hawaii 2: Tossing my To Do list

2008-09-25T01:17:00.000-07:00

I easily thought that Dino was a douche bag for dismissing my list slash Hawaii Life Plan. What a jerk for making light of my well documented Comprehensive Strategy for the Enjoyment and Pleasurable Experience of the Northern Point of the Polynesia.

I ended up being the dork with an uncalled for thesis, bibliography and footnotes... and Dino was the cool dude who came late to class, not prepared at all.

BUT, I was the one who's unemployed and had much time to over analyze a vacation. In the same week that they launched the Large Hadron Collider, I got too caught up in the trip planning and felt as if it would be our only chance at Hawaii.

Dino works too hard and gets extremely focused on his job that all he wants for a free time is to be dumb, sans all pressure and the daily problem solving.

Sure, what is a vacation without seeking and exploring but I admitted later on that my mental preparation was a bit over the top. Too eager and worried about making it the perfect trip, I was creating too much expectation and less fun.

Hawaii 1: Having a To Do List

2008-09-24T19:41:00.000-07:00

I read two Lonely Planet books (one on Hawaii, another on Oahu. Thanks to Lorna and Omz. I scored the books years ago, when they were getting rid of stuff before their move to LA) and one Rough Guide on Honolulu/Waikiki, which I bought a week before we left.
A mere five hour plane ride but more importantly, Hawaii is the middle point between where we live now and beloved Manila. The idea that we would be that close to the Philippines made me so excited.
I knew it wasn't going to be that strange or exotic as it's still a US territory but different enough that I enjoyed the research. I had written down notes on a yellow pad (two pages exactly) with what I wanted to do and all the places I'd see when we get to the island.

Dino on the other hand was too busy finishing his projects in EA and had no time to chat about Hawaii with me until it was time to pack. I suggested that he went over my list or read Rough Guide as it is the shortest of the three guide books. "On the plane," he said.

We could have been at the airport already or maybe it was the early morning before we left when Dino told me that the only thing he wanted to do in Hawaii was to not do anything at all. Well, not exactly nothing but he didn't want to bother with my list.

I, being a little anxious, recited to him all of my notes--- All including:

what I was going to wear each day (versatile enough to get me through the beach and maybe a downtown restaurant at night; strategic pairing of clothing items so that it would be easy to dress down or layer)***

what activities would appropriately match my outfit (you see, some clothing however light in concept, like a skirt, have the possibility of restricting physical movements, let's say hiking...especially if said outfit is paired with flat, gladiator sandals that don't offer much traction if one is to walk uphill, like on a volcanic crater or uneven terrain...) ***

what time we should go to certain places (our hotel was outside the city and we had to consider travel time, traffic and such)

when to bring my big, imposing, arrogant camera (considering the activities planned for the day, security factors if I needed to leave photo equipment in the car or at the beach)

which part of the island is best to catch sunrise or sunset (friends have varied claims and convictions on this)

which days to assign for swimming, meeting friends or doing the tourist activities

when and where to buy souvenirs before flying home

*** seemingly dumb concerns but I've traveled enough to believe that one should really pack lightly, that a girl must avoid bringing her whole closet and not deal with unnecessary baggage weight without sacrificing aesthetics.

Dino's response to my dramatic litany: "Ehh...I just want to draw."

What about MY list? My handwritten list?
"Pearl Harbor, " was his choice just because I forced him to tell me what sounded interesting from my options.

"...I just want to relax. We're going to be on vacation."

head bang

2008-09-21T00:36:00.000-07:00

So I had this migraine since morning. It's been two days since we got back from Hawaii and each time I woke up groggy + back and neck strained = horrible. Usually I would solve this bad equation with the food formula. It didn't apply today.
We tried to simulate an unforgettable breakfast in Kailua (the banana pancakes with macadamia nut sauce) by going to this place I found online called Original Pancake House. It was "meh."Nothing lived up to how they were appetizingly described in the website.

Basically their menu had all the right keywords except the macadamia sauce. They did have "Hawaiian Sauce," which we later found out to have too much of orange zest.

I didn't order the pancake for myself. The migraine ruled out working in the kitchen for me but I wanted Dino to have a nice first meal since he was going to have a very full Saturday of computer work.

I'm still avoiding certain kind of carbs so I had the spinach OMELET.

The cooking idea was as original as their spelling. The egg was mixed with what I presumed to be some kind of batter or cream, which made the egg dish very fluffy. I must have ordered the wrong kind though...the spinach was so thick, like they used a frozen slab of it and baked it with the rest of the egg.

Breakfast, fail. Headache, all sorts of wrong. At the very least I had food in my tummy before I popped my first Advil.

At 12:30pm I had to force myself to sleep. By 4pm I was awake and hungry again. I got up and made myself a quickie meal. All of a sudden Dino told me that we had dinner guests coming in at 7pm. This couple didn't confirm at all until they were on their way to San Jose from Sacramento. Then I had to rush and get them a present from the mall cos we failed to show up at their wedding day! Popped my second Advil.

Dinner went well. The pain pill kept me from any tendency to bang my head on the wall. I was wishing we could just stay home afterward but Dino had said yes to a birthday party in San Mateo. I have nothing against birthday parties but when it's in a club setting, yes yes yo. Third Advil.

Headache's at a minimum now. I still want to write, like about our Hawaii trip and such heavenly whatever. All day I've been HATING because of this headache and I thought I should enumerate the highlights of our vacation...like a diversion...cos I wouldn't want to OD on Advil...but it's kinda late already and I really want to wake up all rested and ache-free tomorrow. I have to drive to SF for the Treasure Island festival.

Hawaii details next time.

new

2008-09-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

It's the first time I went to sleep without a wrist brace and woke up with no pain. Wow. I like that steroid shot. Now I understand why the doctor looked at me straight in the eye and said "We cannot give you this all the time. Only once every three months, IF needed."

owee

2008-09-11T22:53:00.000-07:00

My new doctor is now convinced that I have tendonitis. At this point anyone could make the same guess.
Surgery was ruled out. Although I've had this annoying pain on my left wrist for almost 9 months, it is not extreme or debilitating. Steroid shot was offered and I said yes. Too bad for my Olympic hopes or for Tour de France.

It's only been hours since the injection. I can't differentiate the pain right now... if it's just the soreness from the needle or still the aching tendon. I took a nap earlier when I got home and didn't bother wearing my wrist brace...woke up to the usual pain.

Doctor said I'll be pain-free for 3 months. Hope he's right.

aristocrat

2008-09-11T21:44:00.000-07:00

Due to the extreme yummy-ness of the subject matter, of which nothing was left, there are no pictures for this post.

Tonight I cooked the BEST BBQ chicken of my entire life. Strong words from the committee! Yep, I have never made a chicken dish so perfectly tasty until now. Thanks to a recipe that Dino got from one of his Twitter friends. Who knew Twitter could bring in something so practical and outstandingly delicious to our life?

So the back story: Most Pinoys here in the US think Max's fried chicken is THE epitome of chicken fried goodness back in the Philippines...well, there's the other side of the chicken spectrum (barbecue!) that was dominated by Aristocrat Restaurant during the 1980's.
Back then, Aristocrat was one of the most popular food destination for families in Manila. I distinctly remember most of our trips from the province to the big city would always include a stop at Aristocrat. (The other place was Kamayan, where appropriately you eat with your hands.)
I don't know if the restaurant is still alive now but before we left for the US, Aristocrat had already been relegated as a "relic" and one of those places that people only went back to for sentimental reasons.
They offered tons of dishes but to this day, their bbq chicken is still the stuff that pinoys like Dino and myself dream and get homesick about.

So here's how to make your own Aristocrat chicken. Let the reminiscing begin.

The chicken pieces need to be marinated for exactly 2 days and 2 nights in the following ingredients:

1 whole garlic head, crushed
2 teaspooon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
4 tablespoon soy sauce
4 tablespoon sugar
1 Sprite or 7-Up
10 calamansi (I used frozen pure calamansi juice- they came in little packs, preservative and sugar free; just approximate how much liquid 10 pieces of real calamansi would yield)
2 tablespoon Lea Perrins worcestershire sauce (my tweaking)
2 tablespoon of oil

That's it! Don't forget to baste during cooking. I made a separate batch of sauce for basting, using the same ingredients above.
I didn't have the chance to bbq outside the house and so I used the oven/broiler. The results were still perfect. I'm drooling as I imagine cooking it the old fashioned way.

*If you're going to bbq pork, add ketchup. Marinate overnight.

staycating

2008-09-07T00:43:00.001-07:00

We've made a big pocket hole with our gas consumption this week. It's enough to make us feel guilty and need a counterbalance of sorts.
I think I'm going to impose a personal driving "diet." Before our coming Hawaii trip, I do need to practice some major spending restraint.

Been having too much fun lately. Gosh, what is with me and guilt right now? I've been out everyday, I'm already tired just recalling everything that happened recently. It could be the heat just draining me of enthusiasm.

Dino and I woke up at 9am Saturday and decided that the gas guzzlin' guilt was not going to rob us of our weekend. We got showered and headed straight to SF.
By the time we got to the city, it was lunch time. We made a yummy choice with Pakwan on 16th and Guerrero.
Dino's main motivation for going to the city was Ritual Coffee. He's been raving about this cafe since he first tried it. So after lunch, we walked from 16th to 21st street.
Makes sense, right? Coffee on an extremely hot day. I asked for a cold drink and was given an iced double espresso. Double the dehydration, please. KTnxBye.

The heat was phenomenal. I developed heat rash on my upper back at the end of the day-- unbelievable as it may sound as I come from a tropical country, but the last time I had this skin reaction was before kindergarten when I had too much time playing out in the streets.
So that was weird. I didn't even have heat rash when we went to the desert for Burning Man. I was probably too caffeinated yesterday, my skin was all sorts of crazy.

The rest of our afternoon was spent in Golden Gate park for the Power to the Peaceful event. Met up with the Velascos and had a grand time chit-chatting, playing with Zoe and just taking in the peaceful crowd.

The piece de resistance: dinner at Kuya's in San Bruno.

Crispy short ribs. Baked mussels in garlic and butter. Pork Sinigang. Bobo Chacha, or was it Coco Boogie, dessert.

Food coma, yes. Longer life, no.

surprise

2008-09-05T17:24:00.000-07:00

There's a bunch of idiots at Kaiser.
In the last month of not working, I thought that I had been very well on my way to carpal tunnel syndrome recovery.
My last physician, who for unknown reason left office, said that I also had tendonitis on my left wrist. The symptoms of CTS are almost completely gone, except for this consistent pain/irritation on my left wrist.
The conservative treatment of using Ibuprofen, ice pack and wrist support hasn't been working at all.

Enter my new doctor, who now proposes that I still have carpal tunnel syndrome.

What is it really? It's been more than half a year of examinations and none of these professionals have anything helpful for me. Talk about idiopathy! They've given me electrode shocks and a single day class for repetitive stress patients. I've sacrificed not earning money to avoid surgery and further compromise of my hands.

So I just scheduled another medical consultation. Let's see what these quacks will come up with this time.

labor day weekend

2008-09-01T22:34:00.000-07:00

The long weekend is over. It seemed like we waited for Dino's birthday party for a long time and now it's already a memory. A very fun one, of course!
Saturday
So many different characters rolled into our tiny space in San Jose and made our home beyond cozy, lovely and warm last Saturday night. We did our best but for next time there's a few things we should be overly prepared for, like food!
Diet has no place in a party shopping list. I was at the grocery store and I stopped myself from getting an extra bag of potato chips. The party started at 6pm and by past 10, the dinner table was exhausted. I was too drunk to cook, or to actually look for what to make. Too bad, there is no Martha or Rachel Ray in me.
It was also the time when I wished we had hired help. Or a very helpful uncle/aunt who loves to manage the kitchen while the kids are at play.
An extra set of batteries would have been cool too. The red wine got me and I went upstairs for what I planned to be a few minutes of quiet in the bedroom. I'm guessing that an hour or two had passed and I woke up to an empty house. Everyone had left and I failed to see them off! Based on a text message I got from E and what he told me the day after, the last guests must have left close to 5am.
Worrying aside, the party was a success. Although some friends did not make it and mostly were out of town, a bunch of 'maybe's' in the Facebook invite managed to come--much appreciated! An army of little ones joined the festivities as well. How we've all grown! It's so cool to see our friends' cute babies and all the other lovely kids!
Sunday
Dino and I woke up at 8am. Even with matching hang over, we started cleaning the house and cooked a hearty brunch. Tri-tip/Steak, white rice and corn at 11am! We were really hungry.
Lounged for a few more hours, but was too manic to stay indoors. I drove north to pick up E and we hung out in Serramanila--david's term :)
E and I had some YUMMY fro-yo (frozen yogurt) at the food court. Then David aka Schmoopie joined us and we all went to Target.
It's so not right, but I cannot just browse and not get anything from Target. Picked up a cd: One Day as a Lion by Zack de la Rocha and drummer dude from Mars Volta. It was on sale for $5.99. Very good buy. I had to wait for the drive back to San Jose to listen to the audio full blast.
The boys and I had dinner at HardKnox. I had the smothered chicken. Soul food--3rd YUMMY of the day. Oh boy!
Then it was Green Apple Books PARADISE! 4th YUMMY. We could all live in this place. I got myself a new photo book (Nikki S. Lee's PARTS) and I am so psyched to do a photo project.
I need more inspiration and I'm thinking I should hit the museums again and other bookstores as well.
Monday
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Facebook. Steak and pasta for lunch. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Facebook. Steak and pasta for dinner. Chardonnay.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

reward

2008-08-29T20:18:00.001-07:00

bonfire

2008-08-29T19:10:00.000-07:00

Blog, blog, blog!

There's so many cool things going on when one's unemployed. Manic months, I tell ya. Does my decision to be off medication have anything to do with this? Nah...I shouldn't concern myself with fears and negativity. If this euphoria is the result of refusing zoloftcelexaprozac into my bloodstream, then so be it.
----------------------------------------------
Hold on...
Why do I blog? Why do I open myself up like this? I had this question just a few days ago...

Well, I have a bad memory and so I try to write down the events of my life for whatever purpose/need I may have in the future. Sometimes I re-read entries from my old online journal and I still get surprised with some of the stuff that I wrote about as recent as a year ago.

Going though my boxes of stuff from the storage, I found a lot of my notebooks and dream journals. Before this age of blogging, I had transcribed my nightly dreams on paper...my depression and heartaches, sometimes with hand-drawings...
There's a bunch of details in my life that I had repressed or forgotten, but reading about them again gave me a little sense of fulfillment...like I somehow gained a better understanding of myself and identity at present.

and we're saving on paper thru blogging, right?

So there's no question about the cathartic purpose of all this. Why expose one's self in this way? I don't know...it's probably like putting a message in a bottle... Just write and toss it in the cyber water.
--------------------------------------------

SO, the bonfire last night...there was no moon nor stars...the high temperature during the day was not a precise foreboding of the night's...obviously, there's still sand in my head as I use such words as foreboding, bwahahhaa!
I am compensating with words, because of the comedy that was MIKE RICCA! Love you, Mike!

Here is our resident clown...in his underwear! and that priceless look of disgust on Judith's face. The question was WHY? Was it too hot or too magical of a night for Mike to undress? Sometimes I wonder what cracked out kingdom it is inside his head.

Good times! with very little planning, and just 7 people who made it to Ocean Beach last night.

my back hurts!

2008-08-29T18:39:00.000-07:00

It just happened that we decided to terminate our lease of a storage unit in downtown San Francisco this month...and it's a coincidence that we are hosting a birthday party for Dino this Saturday.
What's the complication now, you ask?
We do have a small space but we have an abundance of friends. Previous parties have proven the former and all we want is to satisfy the latter!

So we were thinking that aside from the living room, dining and office area, we would open up the garage for a few tables for our guests.

So this was the situation in our garage after U-Hauling all of our shit from SF to SJ:

It took me both Thursday and Friday to achieve this:

Excuse me, it wasn't pushing everything towards the corner at all. I did a lot of sorting and throwing of unnecessary items. Dang, I went through 5 years worth of Photography school stuff! Yeah, I'm ashamed that we spent about $130 a month for 4 years to store my crap. BOOO!!!!!
Lesson learned, I hope. It may be the hardest thing, but QUIT BEING A PACK RAT! Let go...let go!

Wow...

I'm excited. Party tomorrow @ 6pm!

livin' la vida

2008-08-29T15:20:00.000-07:00

I've never had a week so full yet so free of stress. Hurray for unemployment! I am embracing this freedom and I can't thank the higher powers enough for all the blessings.
How lucky am I that I can take this break and not be in any pressure to get back to work. It sure helps that we have a rent-free roof over our heads; that we don't have kids to send to school yet; that our living standards are very realistic and amazingly, our definition of luxury always fall within our means.
I'd be a hypocrite if I say we don't spend. Sure, we are big shoppers but we make sure that every purchase is justified. If Dino has a lot of toys and comic books, it is to make sure that his inspiration and creativity are sustained. If I buy new shoes and clothes, I cannot say that I will be saving the world...but there is always a long deliberation between 'need' and 'want.'
Case in point, my Target monkey slippers that I wore to its death:

Now hello, new puppy slippers!

Hennysey-way, I truly feel blessed and I'm enjoying this moment because I know it's not always going to be like this.

I used to be so depressed and anxious when I was in between jobs...when I wasn't involved in any artistic projects. It was as if I had zero worth at all if I didn't produce anything (art,work, shows).
I don't know if it comes with being 32 or having the carpal tunnel/tendonitis reason to quit my job...or maybe the fact that I have Dino to rely on when it comes to a regular income to pay our bills...I just feel at peace right now even though I am not working.

I am definitely not lowering my standards...the dreams and goals are endless. It's just that at this moment, it feels so good to breathe, relax...and just be.

decadent wednesday

2008-08-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

It's Dino's birthday!

He thought we'd have a "light" breakfast at McDonald's because he had his whole afternoon plan to have lunch and hang out in EA.

Here's our main guy checking out the Clone Wars toys. He didn't like them at all. No happy meals, boo!

As he was having barbecue and taking sake shots with his friends at work, I decided to indulge in some fancy lunch at Consuelo's. I've eaten at this mexican bistro a couple of times in the past and I haven't been disappointed.

waiting for my entree...

mango, mild and spicy!

my dream wall. an alcoholic's fantasy.

taking in the ambiance...

pan seared mahi-mahi on a bed of sauteed green beans and chayote, topped with a magical mushroom sauce!

On to birthday boy's dinner at Tanto in Sunnyvale...

uh-oh, epic diet failure! your base are belong to us.

let's throw in a picture of me...happy birthday, baby!

Just as I thought the day couldn't get any better, we saw Pineapple Express. BEST.MOVIE.EVER. We had so much fun!

onitsuka tigers and tokidoki collaboration

2008-08-26T22:21:00.001-07:00

This is what I really want.

...but I only discovered this collaboration 2 months after its release. At this point almost everything is sold out.

This is what's coming to my doorstep. *Crossing my fingers that they don't get stolen, delayed or worse, out of stock/backordered!*

he's bald again

2008-08-25T14:57:00.001-07:00

...crazy in four parts.
Yup, I married this guy.

my saturday in pictures

2008-08-24T00:54:00.001-07:00

Breakfast of champs @ denny's; free monkey on a tree balloon from an emo guy; dinner at the Château Deck in Mountain Winery, Saratoga; Toad the Wet Sprocket concert.

The best.

2008-08-23T02:21:00.001-07:00